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Even when you are not looking

So it seems, whether I like it or not, that a few months have to go by before I can justify sitting still for a few minutes to write down my thoughts on this blog.  It is certainly not for lack of “material” swimming around in my head, I can assure you of that.  I believe the main reason, valid or not, is the lingering question in the back of my mind…is this worth remembering?

We have good days and bad days, just like every other person and family out there.  I can’t bring myself to document each hiccup or victory.  It feels as though there must be some overarching theme or message to share before the writing begins.  Unfortunately, this hinders my ability to record the everyday, what I frequently perceive as the mundane.

I have discovered that this is somewhat flawed logic.  Without someway to compare yesterday to today (and I certainly cannot rely on my memory alone anymore), how do I know we have made progress?  Photographs can be a measuring stick on appearance, clothes provide evidence of physical growth, but what about all the other stuff??

At a family cookout last weekend my father-in-law asked me when Kimberly’s speech had begun to improve so much?  Apparently she had uttered a few phrases that he overheard earlier in the day and they were much more intelligible than he expected.  I wasn’t quite sure how to answer.  I have not noticed any marked differences recently myself.  Sometimes it takes someone outside of the “inner circle” to notice things that are right under your nose.

We have made improvements in many areas, speech included, but sometimes the painfully slow pace can overshadow the big picture.  The other night we watched some family videos of our cross-country trip last year.  June 1 will be exactly one year since the girls and I flew to Colorado to meet dada and the camper.  Hard to believe.

I was a little startled at how much younger the girls seemed in the video.  Especially Kimberly.  I think we should record videos and write things down more often.  Clearly, relying on memory alone does not accurately depict our reality.  We’ve come a long way, baby…

Strapped into the harness for a “real” ride with dada…a FIRST!


  1. Love hearing your thoughts and being able to identify. I read something awhile back about keeping a kind of micro-journal, where you just write down a sentence or two everyday… whatever seems important or relevant. I thought it was such a great idea, given how hard it is for me to write in my kid journals on a regular basis. Have I started a micro-journal yet? Pffft. No.

    • Love that idea! Seems much more manageable for sure…
      It’s nice to know that others can relate. It was one of my goals with sharing this stuff…to know about others experiencing the same thoughts/emotions/etc.

  2. It’s the million dollar question!! I struggle because I feel I document too much! Everyone says, “they will love that when they are older!” Will they? I can’t seem to stop and it makes me think I’m only living in the past and not in the moment because I’m always behind trying to catch up. I wish i knew more about my childhood..maybe that’s why I do it? Love the motorcycle picture:)

    • I think you are on to something in wishing you had that kind of information about your own history…it is certainly a balance that we all struggle to find. There are a lot of things at play here. I did not video much when Kimberly was younger because I thought I would not want to think about a lot of what we went through…now I regret that (sometimes).

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