People compare. People judge. Whether they want to or not. It is those two actions that kept me from beginning this blog for over a year. Even with continual reminders to myself to avoid these behaviors, I am guilty of it as well. Absolutely.
Truly though, knowing this about people can prevent us from doing so many things that we should do, need to do. And that is really a shame. The challenge here is to “put it out there” anyway. In order to do this I have a tremendous internal battle of wills. Be real, but don’t complain.
I can tell you without a doubt that special needs families feel the heat of judgement and comparison daily and with significant intensity. It can make you feel angry, hurt, embarrassed, and inadequate. It is a part of our lives that I wish did not exist, yet it is everywhere I turn. The school drop-off, the grocery store, the movie theater, the park.
Yesterday I wrote about feeling really down. The purpose was not to say indirectly, “I have it so bad, no one has it worse”. The purpose was to be real. And that is how I really feel -right now. Ironically, as per usual, I am my own worst critic and almost instantly thought…maybe I should have kept that to myself. But that defeats the purpose.
The goal and purpose of this blog, is to share the good, bad and ugly of our experiences raising two beautiful girls – one with extra/special needs. Nothing more, nothing less. Many times I read the words of others and nod my head in communion with their thoughts and experiences. This offers me a comfort I cannot find anywhere else. That is why I write about what we live. So many have it so much worse and for many, it is easier…but my words are our journey.
So please, (I’m saying this to myself most of all), don’t compare, don’t judge. We are all in this together. Our words and actions speak so loudly to little eyes and ears that are watching…show them thoughtfulness, compassion, and empathy. For all who responded yesterday with your love and support…thank you.
Lovely photo of the girls above courtesy of Belle Fleur Photography